Éduquer à l'ESS : Fear

Nom de l'événement

Description

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My memories of him are dappled in sunshine and washed in red wine. They are bright things in fun places. They are exciting. When I look back over them, I already know what a life with him would be like. I know the challenges and I know the rewards. He offers me no less than everything.

Down another path I can’t see clearly. No memories are made yet. There are whispered talks of what could be, what would be. There are offers to make these things happen. But I linger slightly behind them, afraid.

I’m not afraid to be alone. That is no longer the fear that drives my decisions. I can see a future on my own too. I see it full of friends and family. I see building a life I want on my own. This doesn’t scare me.

But I am not without fear. These days the fear that drives me is the fear of making another mistake. The fear of picking one path or the other and finding, several years down the road, that I made a bad choice. The fear of getting so far in that I don’t know how to get out again. The fear of getting divorced again. The fear of screwing up.

This is the fear that paralyzes me. I stand at this fork in the road and I’m simply frozen. I know the fear itself is keeping me from letting go. I know it will take away my chances to be happy with someone else. This fear will lead to me being alone every time. Not just here and now, but always.

And I have no idea how to let it go.